Since I can remember I have always been overweight. In elementary school, my class went to the nurse's office and the nurse would yell out the weight to the other nurse to record. Grudgingly, loud enough that the entire class could hear. I turned, humiliated, seeing the jaws of the girls I wanted to be accepted by hit the floor and look at me as if I had some sick disease. I hated physical ed in high school. I would go in to the bathroom stalls away from the changing area with the rest of the girls because I was so embarrassed of my body. I remember hearing the girls say how weird it was that I would leave and go change, although I thought I was so sneaky getting in the bathroom stall, pretending I just always needed to go to the restroom or I needed to check my pad because it was that time of the month. The girls stopped buying in to my lies. And I was now a laughing target. I played it off with my friends and just acted like I didn't care. ...
For many years, I had hoped to just be an ordinary girl, attempting to live an ordinary life. I wanted to grow up in a loving home, find love, have kids, have some high end job, and live happily ever after. I guess at some point, you can't expect life to give you everything you want. But I was determined as hell to make it happen. The loving home part...pfft. Yeah, that didn't happen. I did find love, after a couple of attempts and a big broken heart. But, to be fair, that's typical, so I couldn't expect to be an exception. The job part...well...that sort of happened. But I did get my kids and we are all certainly still trying to find our happy ever after. What happened? Why am I making this a blog that God knows who can read? One name...Rachel Hollis. She has created and drafted a book that drastically changed my outlook on life. My life isn't changed yet. But, I know now, I am in control of my life. I also know ...